A Quick Test for Tough Decisions—Plus Permission to Keep It Small
Take This Quiz for Every Guest—Automatically
Instead of running through these questions manually for each person:
- Import your full list into our app
- Both partners rank everyone (takes 10 min each)
- Set your venue capacity
- See instantly who's above and below the line
You'll only need to discuss the handful of guests right at the cutoff.
You're lying awake at 2am thinking about your guest list. Again. Should you invite your college roommate you haven't seen in three years? What about your partner's aunt who you've met once?
Here's the thing: Agonizing over every name is exhausting, and you're probably overthinking it. Most people understand that weddings have limits.
This quiz helps you decide. And more importantly, it reminds you of what you're allowed to do.
The Quick Quiz: Should You Invite This Person?
Think of a specific person you're unsure about. For each question, answer Yes (1 point) or No (0 points).
Have you talked to this person in the past 12 months?
Not just a happy birthday text—an actual conversation.Would you call them if you had big news to share?
A new job, a health scare, exciting life update.Do you expect them to be in your life in 5 years?
Not hope—expect. Based on current trajectory.Would they drop everything if you really needed help?
A ride to the airport at 5am. Help moving. That level.Would you grab dinner with them one-on-one?
Not in a group—just the two of you.Have they been there for a major life moment?
Graduation, new job, loss, celebration.Would they be hurt if they found out about your wedding secondhand?
Instagram, mutual friends, family grapevine.Is your partner comfortable with them being there?
Not just tolerating—genuinely comfortable.Would you be comfortable spending $200+ on their attendance?
That's roughly what each guest costs.Would you notice if they weren't at your wedding?
Not "notice their absence"—actually feel that something was missing.
Scoring
- 8-10 points: Definitely invite them. They're clearly important to you.
- 5-7 points: Invite if you have room. They make sense for a larger wedding.
- 3-4 points: Probably skip. No hard feelings—they'll understand.
- 0-2 points: Don't invite. This isn't a close enough relationship.
Things You're Allowed to Do
If you're reading this article, you're probably anxious about your guest list. Here's your permission slip.
You're Allowed to Have a Small Wedding
The average US wedding has 115-125 guests. That's an average, not a requirement. Micro-weddings are increasingly popular—and often more meaningful.
Intimate does not mean lesser. It means intentional.
You're Allowed to Not Invite Family
Estranged relatives, family members who've caused you harm, relatives who would bring drama or stress.
Your wedding is not an obligation fulfillment exercise. "Blood" doesn't automatically mean "invited."
You're Allowed to Skip Plus-Ones
Especially if:
- They know other people at the wedding
- They're in a casual or new relationship
- You're trying to keep the guest count manageable
It's not rude—it's a budget reality.
You're Allowed to Have an Adults-Only Wedding
Kids at weddings can be wonderful. They can also be chaotic and expensive.
If you want an adult celebration, that's your choice. Communicate early so families can arrange childcare.
You're Allowed to Not Invite Coworkers
Unless they're genuine friends outside the office:
- You won't hurt your career
- Most people don't expect wedding invites from work
- "We're keeping it small" is a complete sentence
You're Allowed to Prioritize Your Happiness
This is your wedding. Not a family reunion. Not a networking event. Not an opportunity to repay social debts.
Not everyone will be happy with your choices. That's okay.
Common Anxiety Scenarios
"What if they find out and are hurt?"
Most people understand that weddings have limits. If your relationship is solid, an honest conversation will go a long way.
True friends will understand.
"My parents will never forgive me"
They might be upset initially. But this is your wedding. Offer compromises: "We'll do a family dinner after the wedding to celebrate with extended relatives."
In almost every case, parents come around.
"I've already told them to save the date"
If you sent an official save-the-date card, you should follow through.
If it was a casual mention, you have more flexibility.
"Everyone else has big weddings"
Comparison is the thief of joy. Your wedding should reflect you—not Instagram.
Many couples regret going bigger. Few regret going smaller.
The Permission Slip
Print this out if it helps:
I, _______________, give myself permission to:
- Have a wedding that fits my budget and values
- Not invite people out of obligation
- Prioritize guests who bring me joy
- Set boundaries with family
- Have a small, intimate celebration if that's what I want
- Stop apologizing for my choices
When You're Still Stuck
If you've taken the quiz, read the reassurances, and still can't decide:
- Have both partners score independently
- Compare scores and discuss discrepancies
- Set a hard cutoff number
- Everyone above the line is in
Ready to make it official? Import your full list into our app. Both partners rank everyone independently. The app calculates combined scores and shows you exactly where the cutoff falls.
Printable Checklist
Must-Invite
- ☐ Immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents)
- ☐ Wedding party members
- ☐ Best friends (the "inner circle")
Probably Invite
- ☐ Extended family you're close to
- ☐ Good friends you see regularly
- ☐ Family friends who are like family
Maybe Invite (If Room)
- ☐ Extended family you rarely see
- ☐ Friends you've drifted from
- ☐ Work friends you socialize with outside work
Probably Don't Invite
- ☐ Acquaintances
- ☐ Coworkers you don't socialize with
- ☐ People you haven't talked to in 12+ months
- ☐ Anyone who causes you stress
Related Resources
- Who to Invite to Your Wedding — The complete decision-making guide
- How to Decide Who to Invite — The full scoring method
- Wedding Guest List Template — Free spreadsheet template