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How Private Ratings Work

Understand how your ratings stay private and when they become visible.

Privacy is at the heart of Sorry, Not Invited. Here's how it works.


The Privacy Promise

When you rate a guest, your partner cannot see your ratings. Period.

This is intentional — it allows both of you to be completely honest without worrying about causing offense or arguments.


What's Private vs. Shared

🔒 Private (Only You See)

  • Your individual category ratings (1-5 scores)
  • Your overall impression of each guest
  • Any notes you add to your ratings

👥 Shared (Both Partners See)

  • The guest list itself (names, emails, party sizes)
  • VIP and Hard No designations
  • Combined scores (after both have rated)

When Ratings Become Visible

Your individual ratings are never directly shown to your partner. However, once both partners have rated a guest, you can see:

  • The combined/average score
  • Whether you generally agreed or disagreed
  • A summary comparison (not the exact numbers)

Why This Matters

Think about it: if your partner could see you rated their best friend a 2, that conversation gets awkward fast.

With private ratings:

  • You're honest because there's no immediate judgment
  • The algorithm does the "bad guy" work for you
  • Discussions focus on outcomes, not blame